#8 Dunia Penuh Cinta

And I guess we’re getting to that point where life persists and friendships cease – said no one but me.

Ini saya mengutip tulisan teman sekelas saya,  saudara Apriliyanti Sirait pada tanggal 13 Januari 2016 di grup line :


Till We Meet Again

For the first time in many years I come to realize what ever happened to “time is so cruel”? I know there are many twists and turns in relationships as our lives change. Beginning a new phase of my life could mean facing another long goodbye, one outside my own comfort zone which is somewhat emotionally tiring.

Over the course of my life, I’ve had two or three best friends, relationships that ended for one reason or another. Being a direct, straightforward person has a lot of perks. As the payoff, not many people can handle it,  not even members of my family – when I speak my mind that is often misinterpreted as bitchiness and often have zero patience for almost everything.

The truth is, good friends are hard to come by. I rarely be the one who puts in all the effort into a friendship. Yet, Mbak Flo, Desi, Yola, Dea, and Yeski are the exceptions for me to make it to be a two-way street.

Three years go, I bonded with them when I enrolled my grad school and never expected that I would spiral downward when the time comes for me to not be able getting to see them like we get used to do. They are immensely inspirational and they are people I genuinely want to meet and talk to on a regular basis. Mba Flo and Desi, my idols. Mature, kind, loving, patient ladies who are quict to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. Yola, what a mood boaster! Always comes with positive thoughts- never fails to show me a bright side of life, a gentle answer turns away wrath. Dea, the only one who can always put a big grin on our faces with her silly jokes and expression, the realiest af I’ve ever met yet remains very wise and calm. Yeski, the youngest in the group. I would say I could see the reflection of myself in you as you could be horrible and adorable at the same time hahaha. The first one who made it, graduate from one of the best univ in town – WHAT A GREAT ACHIEVEMENT! I am sure you make your parents proud of you, remember they are watching over you from heaven.

Time flies, we’ll have different priorities and not on the same path anymore. I can’t stand the sadness of moving on and leaving all we had behind. Nothing will be the same, our adventures and all the new friends we’ll meet on the road, but I’ll miss our open-hearted and free-flowing communication.

Thank you for sweet memories to remember, thank you for your kind words esp. when I failed on my thesis seminar – the darkest moment in my grad school years, thank you for your encouragement that motivates me to be a better person.

Our friendship is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. My life was incomplete without you. Till we meet again, my friends. I love you.

April.


***


Saya bukan orang yang pintar atau berani memamerkan romantisme pertemanan. Namun, sesungguhnya atau barangkali, saya adalah orang yang paling haus dan suka merenung-renung soal teman. Suka kelihatan enggak butuh, padahal saya nangis-nangis deh kalau gak ada teman!

Tulisan April mungkin mewakilkan apa yang saya rasa begitu saya keluar dari ruang prasidang bulan Desember tahun lalu.  Perasaan seperti diaduk. Lega campur gamang? Besar campur kerdil? Haus campur kenyang? Enggak ngerti, Sist.

Perasaan itu mirip seperti saya lulus kuliah S1, pindah kosan dari nangor, meninggalkan Bogor-Bandung, atau ketika angkat kaki meninggalkan tempat kerja saya yang lama. Rindu seperti mendahului, tapi raga seperti sudah minta angkat kaki.  Membayangkan ada rutinitas yang dipaksa putus oleh keinginan dan tekad sendiri. Mungkin itu rasanya.


Belum benar-benar utuh si badan ini keluar dari gedung tujuh, ada rasa rindu akan suara-suara, jalan-jalan, suasana, ketawa, ledekan, keluhan, ujian, ketegangan, dukungan, dan sop kacang merah murah di kantin psikologi yang harganya sepuluh ribu tapi enak bukan main karena bumbunya meresap banget.

Meskipun cuma dua tahun. Tapi ini rasanya benar. Kalau dipikir-pikir, mungkin salah satu hal yang membuat saya merasa beruntung lanjut kuliah adalah: ketemu orang-orang yang begini dan dikasih kesempatan untuk berteman dengan mereka.

Kalau kata Melly Goeslaw mah (kalau gak salah denger, ya…): Satu masa t’lah terlewati, benci dan rindu merasuk di kalbu…

Yasih, benci karena harus pergi.

Dan rindu karena akan lama tidak sering-sering lagi bertemu.


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