she is going to be rude again. i know i have to calm her down. when she waked up last morning, she was going to cry, i hold her. and i told her. calm down . calm down. let me read you a story of momo, you want some? and she said no! i feel afraid! i am afraid! i was afraid!

i tried to stay strong and calm. she need me to stay strong. the next thing i hold her hands and gave her a glass of water and told her to stay out the trouble from her state of mind-just don't think too much, i whispered to her, go to the bathroom, and wash some dishes, feel the water. i love you so much. please don't lay your fucking crazy head in this pillow no more, smile and wash the dishes. don't ever think anything. i am always behind your back. to secure you. to make sure that you will never be afraid anymore. i love you so much. just wash the fucking dishes..

she tried to smile to me, but she was failed. i was the one who gave her a smile-a warm one- a -it's gonna be alright-one. i laugh, and i tell her, oh show me your monalisa smile again, sweetheart! you make me wanna kiss you. ok, go ahead..she said don't leave me. and i said, never, just go ahead,